Not-so-happy Valentine’s day

So, are you one of those hopeless romantics that love Valentine’s day, or are you a complete hater of love, flowers and floating babies that shoot arrows?

The topic of Valentine’s day is a funny one for me mainly because I don’t think it is that big of a deal. It should be a day you spend a little more time (and money) on someone special in your life. Whether this is your beau, girl or even your mummy. I feel like that should be the nit and grit of Valentine’s Day.

Every year, on the 14th February, I scroll down my timeline on twitter to find a million and one people tweeting things like, “Happy singles awareness day”, “I’ll buy myself chocolate, I don’t need you to do it for me”, “Valentine’s day isn’t even a real holiday!” “It’s just another Saturday to me, to be honest!” People can be so dramatic, and that’s coming from Ms Drama Queen herself. Honestly, if you find yourself single on Valentine’s day, buy yourself chocolate. Okay. Fine. But don’t tweet about it. What are you trying to prove? Because if you feel like you HAVE  to post about it, then you’re probably not as happy as you’re trying to let on. On the other side of the spectrum, if you find yourself happily coupled up on Valentine’s day, enjoy it. Enjoy the day, the company, the foooood.

Now looking at my blog title, I smile at myself. Why shouldn’t Valentine’s day be happy. If you have people that care and love you, then you deserve a happy Valentine’s day. Forget about the pressure of ‘coupling up’ for Valentine’s day, just so you can post a picture with ‘Bae’ on Instagram or Facebook.

I wanted to understand Valentine’s day a little bit more, and stumbled across this interesting little old video. It’s an oldie but still as relevant as ever.

So this Valentine’s day, let’s love ourselves and other people more, instead of feeling bad and alone just because we haven’t found the perfect person for us yet. This Valentine’s day let people know you love them and that you value them in your life. If you do that, it will be a Happy Valentine’s day.

 

Peace&LOVE.

Paula Melissa xx

Team healthy living

People say I always have phases in life when I’m obsessed with a particular thing, activity, music, artist etc for a while, then I get bored of it and move on. As sad and childish as that makes me sound, it is so true.

I’m laughing because on the 25th of September 2012, I wrote a post about healthy living and that phase of mine lasted like a week, maybe even less.

But now, I’m a lot more grown up so I’d like to believe I mean it for real this time.

Ever since the first day of the year, I have made a conscious effort to eat healthier. i must say, I was a relatively healthy person beforehand, because I don’t eat a lot (which is really hard to believe since I am always talking about food and complaining about being hungry lol), but this year I hope to improve my relationship with food. I used to eat really irregularly, skipping meals and bingeing. BUT NO MORE.

So far I’ve managed to stay on track, but since college is back the real challnege is back too. Part of my healthy living also, I do a 25 minitue walk every morning to college and a 25 minute walk back (so nearly an hour of walking a day which is the only nit of excersie I do).

Let’s see how that works out, lovelies:’)

Peace&Love.

Paula ox’

Who do you think influences you more – your family or your friends?

So, I’d like to discuss the idea that nowadays friends and peers influence teenagers more than their families do. Is that true? And if so, why is that? I mean, surely the people who birthed you, looked after you and everything in that nature should be the people you look up to the most. I asked lots of different the same question and here are a few of their answers and interpretation as to who influences them.

Who influences you the most, your friends or family, and why?

  •  I’d say friends because I tend to avoid my family. That’s because they annoy a lot and it’s a lot easier to leave my friends when they get on my nerves.  – Male, 16
  • I would like to say both but honestly, it’s my family. I think it’s the fact that you’re always around your family as you grow up so you learn things from siblings and learn to obey your parents. – Female, 16
  • Friends influence me more in the sense that we are in the same age group and so we can relate to each other. We keep each other updated with the latest hot topics, gossip and trends. – Female, 25
  • Well, I’d say friends, probably because your friends understand how you feel on a mutual level, whereas family may only see things from their point of view, a majority of the time. In this way, you could also relate to a friend’s choices which would make me feel like I am more influenced by friends as to making choices, than family. – Female, 16
  • I say friends because you choose to spend more time with your friends than family. – Male, 16
  • Personally, it would be family but not necessarily my parents because they’re boring and don’t fully understand my generation. I would say, however, that I am influenced by my older siblings especially my older brother is who I really look up to and I would say is the  biggest influence in my life. – Male, 16
  • I think both the groups of people are equally influential in a young person’s life because regardless of how much time someone spends at home with their family, their peers and friends outside of the home are people they can relate to the most. So friends are likely to influence them a lot, as well. – Female, 16
  • I am going to say family influence me the most because family members are always around to push you to do what they want you to do, or what they think is best for you.- Male, 17
  • I would say that friends influence me more, although it may not seem like it, we really do spend a lot of time with our friends. A large majority of our colloquial terms have been adopted from our friends & peers and sometimes even personality traits. By this I mean, the way we act, our use of register, and how we address people, whether this may be formal and informally. Moreover, we care considerably more about the opinions of our friends than we care our parents. If our mum or dad suggested we saw a movie we wouldn’t necessarily be persuaded into going to watch that movie, until perhaps a friend mentions it. In a way, we are sort of driven by the social desirability presented to us by our friends. – Female, 17
  • Friends influence young people more at this stage of their lives than their family. They tend to value the opinion of other young people (not only just friends) above that of their family members. – Female, over 25
  • I would say both family and friends influence me in different ways. Family because they initially set up whom I am as a person. There are certain immoral things that I could never do because my mum and dad have brought me up that way. Your culture also plays a part; certain decisions I make will be influenced by where I am from and my culture and heritage. On the other hand, friends influence me on the day-to-day things, as I tend to see them regularly. Sometimes the influence I get from my friends clashes with that of my family. – Female, 16
  • I would say both groups influence young people. There is a wide diversity of types of young people, some who are more influenced by friends and some influenced by family, depending on the individual. Some listen to their family more as they are close to them and can gain guidance from them. Others prefer to speak to their friends about personal issues they may not feel comfortable discussing with parents, e.g. relationships or social lives. They may however confide in their siblings, depending on how close they are to them. – Male, over 25

After receiving all these different views I was confused as to what I thought the answer of this question is. I think young people are like sponges, especially at adolescence; they absorb information, behaviour and ideology from the things and people they see and hear around them. If you are always at home with your family, you’ll be more influenced by your family, of course. But also, you’ll be influenced largely by the media and internet. If you’re at home all of the time, as well as spending time with your family, you’re also watching TV, browsing the internet or reading books, thereby becoming aware of lots of new things. The new things you learn may influence the way you think, reason and perceive things and people in life. Likewise, if you’re never at home, love hanging out with your friends, and are the life of the party, you’ll obviously be influenced by your friends more. Therefore, my verdict is that it depends on the individual. You may initially have been mainly influenced by your family, as a child, but as you grew up and grew in independence, so did the places you searched for influence.

This is my interpretation. Comment bellow with yours.

 

How to Deal with Stress in 3 Simple Steps

stress

I’d like to think I’m a relatively calm person. I’m as calm as a teenage student can be in life, really. But, I know a lot of people who are the opposite of me and completely fall under the pressure of stress. I really know how to handle stress because I used to stress out about every little thing a lot. I’ve grown out of this though; I learnt how to deal with it.

 

We are roughly 4 months into our academic year and for most of us, it means we’re half way through our coursework, finished a module and are preparing for exams. Wow, time really does go by so fast, especially for first-years, like me, who aren’t so used to the speed at which college moves at. And that is why I decided to give you all pointers on how to deal with stress.

 

stress 2

1. Time Management

 

Starting college, time management was a phrase that was thrown at me a lot, and genuinely, I actually believe it’s one of the things that will single-handedly carry you all the way through college. Time management is something that will drastically lower your stress levels, by at least half (not exactly scientifically proven). Give priority to the subjects or topics you know you’re not as strong in, but don’t give them too much attention or you’ll start to slack in the other subjects or topics that you know you’re good at. It’s all a balance, really.

 

2. Be Strict with Yourself

 

Okay, let’s say you’ve been eating a lot and you’re starting to put on weight, what is the solution? You have to become strict with yourself, you have to say no when you’re offered that second donut from Sainsbury, or you have to say no when you know you’ve eaten Chinese for lunch 3 times that week alone.  If you don’t say no to yourself and follow it through, you can’t really blame anyone for the consequences. Likewise, you need to know when to put your phone off (for some of us, me included, putting your phone on silent and away from us isn’t really enough) and do that homework you have been ignoring for days. You need to know when to log off Twitter or Facebook (Facebook is dead, by the way. Please don’t hate me) and open that revision guide. At the end of the day, if you haven’t made the necessary effort to work, you can’t blame anyone if you don’t do well.

 

3. Take a Break, Have a Kit-Kat

 

Honestly, this is literally the most obvious thing in the world, yet people will still forget it. We as human beings tend to need rests, so why do students feel like they are invincible? Guys, take my word for it, working until you explode really doesn’t help you or anyone else. Learn to sleep at a particular time – that really does help, believe it or not. A lot of teenagers go to sleep extremely late, and that’s completely depends on you, but if you set a specific time that you go to bed, no matter how late, your body and mind gets used to that. Your body and mind then begin to recognise when to rest and relax and when to work.

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

 

Strut in Studded Collars

If you want a versatile accessory that you can wear for a night out, as well as to college, then studded collars are for you. They make a real statement, whether worn under a jumper or with a girly dress.

The actual studded collar fashion trend started back in 2009 by fashion giants, Prada, but has now made a comeback looking bigger and better than ever. I think it’s because they look fierce, assertive and attractive. You can either wear the actual collar or shirts which already have studs or embroidery on the collar. Major sweetheart and fashion icon , Alexa Chung has been noted for sporting this gorgeous trend, as well as other fashionable celebs; Natalie Portman, Ashley Benson and Hailee Steinfield .

celebs in studded collars Source: http://iriswholesale.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/embellished-collar.html

It is extremely easy to dress up and dress down studded collars – it all depends on what it’s paired with. For an evening out, a studded blouse with a fitted blazer or jacket is always hot. For college or a meet up with friends, just slip on a jumper on top of a studded collar shirt. So simple. So chic.

studded collarsSource: http://www.arabiaweddings.com/sites/default/files/tips/2012/11/09/collar2.jpg

meme 2

Here are a few examples I found, where you can buy them and for how much. The prices of them might have decreased, however, due to Christmas, Boxing Day and January Sales. Treat your friend or sister to a studded collar top or a few studded collars for Christmas; they’ll love you. If you’re still freaking out about prices, there are many High Street options – New Look, Next and Primark will have the look for less.

shop-1

Shop-2

Peace&Love.

Paula ox’

Writing Opportunities

I am extremely excited as I write this post because, I get to do something that I’ve always loved doing – Writing.

I am extremely excited to officially announce that I will be writing for my college’s online magazine. I’ll write two articles a week (hopefully) about a variety of topics. My articles will be extremely similar to this posts on this blog but a lot more professional (lol, I’ll try), less personal and informative.

It’s actually really funny, because I’ve only told this to my family and a few friends.

I really want to go into writing, journalism, blogging, all of that professionally (‘when I grow up’) so this is crazy important for me right now. Every piece I write is another published pieced added to my name.

I’m so grateful for this opportunity.

I’ll post the URL as soon as I get it.

 

Pecae&Love.

Paula ox’

Paula’s Idiolect

If you thought idiolect and idiot meant the same thing, you’re completely wrong, but you are not alone. I first thought something along those lines.

A person’s idiolect is their own personal way of speaking. It consists of the words and type of language they choose to speak. There are specific words and phrases that people use that become associated with them.

This post will basically explain my idiolect and how and where I have been influenced in the way I speak. I recently did a project on the study of English Language and the way we speak (especially concerning the British youth in the UK) and I thought it might be an interesting thing for you all to read. Obviously, I live in London, England so some of you more international readers may not fully understand all of this. But it’s been made to entertain you so don’t take everything too seriously.

Okay. First of all, English is the only language I am fluent in. My background is Nigerian and I can understand a few words in the Nigerian languages of Igbo and Yoruba but no where near as well as English. I learnt a bit of German and French but again, I am not fluent. That’s so embarrassing to admit.

Generally, I believe I speak correct standard English but when I’m with my friends and peers, I may use a few ‘mainstream’ slang words, such as ‘deep’, ‘butters’, ‘dead’, ‘safe’.. etc. However, I tend to not speak slang per se, but use regular words and change them to have slightly different meanings. For example; I say awkward a lot, often shorten it to awks. This means an uncomfortable situation or someone who makes you uncomfortable by the way they act. I also use it to mean ‘my bad’, like when I realise I got something or did something wrong.

Here are a few specific words I use and examples, with a brief funny translation as to what they mean (you’re allowed to laugh here, they’re meant to be funny)

  • Awkward: “I am way too awkward” – I always create uncomfortable situations for myself, unintentionally. 
  • Forever: “Boys in suits are forever winning.” – Males who dress smartly tend to look more attractive than males who do not.
  • Oh My Days (OMDs): “Oh my days, she said that?” – I cannot believe she said that, but I’ll ask anyway just to make sure.
  • Shambles/Shambolic: “I’m just looking shambolic  today.” – I look so horrible today that it’s comical. 
  • Ridiculous: “Sometimes, I am so cocky it’s actually ridiculous.” – Most of the time, I act cocky and it doesn’t really make sense because I’m actually not.
  • Genuinely: “genuinely used to have a phobia of planes.” – I’m not lying, I used to have a phobia of planes. Honest. I am not exaggerating.
  • Bloody: “And they didn’t bloody call me.” – I’m annoyed that they didn’t call me but I’m too much of a good Christian girl to swear so I’ll express my anger through the word Bloody.
  • Actually: “I actually love going to both a sixth form and a college.” – I’m surprised, I didn’t think I would like it since I was forced to do both but I actually like it. 
  • Freaking: “I’m so freaking hungry!” – I’m in need of food but I’d rather sit here and complain, because that seems easier.
  • Really: “I don’t take myself too seriously, so you really shouldn’t.” – I don’t mind being a fool so you shouldn’t either.
  • Though: “That girl’s fringe, though.” – I like that girls hair so much I can’t finish my sentence.
  • Basically: Basically, I start every sentence with basically.” – Basically, I don’t know what to say but saying basically gives me time to think.
  • Literally: “I literally love her vocals.” – I love her singing so much, I’m practically in love with them. 
  • Randomly: “I start randomly singing and dancing as I walk down the street.” – Whilst walking, I forget where I am and start singing. Then I look around, realise where I am and get embarrassed and stop. 
  • Generally: “I’m generally a nice person.” – Most of the time, I’m a nice person. But I have my moments, so be scared.

In recent years, I’ve noticed as I grow up that girls have become more intimate, to an extent. It’s more common for girls to call their friends ‘babe’ ‘sweetie’ or ‘hun’ or something that used to be what a boyfriend or love interest used to say. Here are a few words I call my friends, girls or boys, but mostly girls. I usually use these to greet someone or start a text/tweet.

  • “Babes”
  • “Mate”
  • “Matey”
  • “Love”
  • “Boo”
  • “Gorge”

Another influence in the development of language and specifically how I speak, is the rise of social media, especially Twitter and instant messaging. I’ve started saying specific words that I picked up from twitter. Sociolect refers to how a specific social group talk for example, young college students. There is a sociolect specific to twitter, that many twitter users use.

 

OKAY.

That was a longish one. What I am saying is, overall, I have a specific was I speak that people do tend to recognise. The other day, I called someone ridiculous and they were slightly offended until I explained that it’s part of my idiolect. When I call you ridiculous it means you’re really random and funny because you’re generally unpredictable. So, it’s a good thing.

I hope this was interesting. I think this post was extremely needed so that you can fully understand all my other post.

Peace&Love.

Paula ox’

God’s Not Dead – the movie

Gods-Not-Dead-Facebook

I am SO excited to write this post, because I am so excited for this movie.

As everyone knows, I am a Christian. So it’s only fair that I get excited at these kinds of films.

God’s Not Dead is an American drama film which is based on a book written by Rice Brooks also called God’s Not Dead. I’d love to read the book as well. The film follows around a young college (that’s Uni to us Brits) student named Josh Wheaton, who is played by one of my favourite people, actor/singer Shane Harper click here for more.

Josh is a philosophy student but on the first day finds out his lecturer is an Atheist and hates God. The lecturer, Professor Radisson, is played by Kevin Sorbo who is a well established actor from films such as the original Hercules series and Christmas films such as The Santa Suit. On the first day, Professor Radisson tells his class to recite “God is dead.” in order to get a passing grade, which Josh refuses to do as he is a Christian.

Professor Radisson makes a deal with Josh. He won’t fail him if he can make the the Professor believe that God isn’t dead. If Josh loses the debate he gets a bad grade which puts his future in danger as he really needs the good grades. This task tests Josh’s faith in himself, as well as God, as it pushes all relationships in his life to their boundaries.

This film looks so interesting, because it’s basically what a huge number of young Christians feel at one time or another. We’re tested. We have to have faith. The world mocks us for what we believe. They ask for evidence, we show them faith. And it’s great that they’ve FINALLY made a film that looks like will fight FOR us instead of against.

I’m loving the cast as well. Disney actor, Shane Harper is a major sweetheart and he looks like he’ll play the part of Josh with integrity. I love Kevin Sorbo in The Santa Suit; why is he so good at playing the bad guy? The movie also features a concert appearance by Gold Record award-winning and Christian super-band Newsboys, which I’m looking forward too. I like their single, God’s Not Dead. The movie also stars Dean Cain (Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman) and David A. R. White (Evening Shade, The Moment After 1 and 2, Jerusalem Countdown), which a cameo from Willie and Korie Robertson. I’m excited.

This film is out in Spring 2014, although I think that’s only for the US. Hopefully closer to the time they’ll give exact locations and dates. And I’m praying that it shows in the UK, or I’ll be sad.

God’s Not Dead – the movie links:

Official Website: http://godsnotdeadthemovie.com/

Official Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GodsNotDeadTheMovie

Official Twitter: https://twitter.com/GodsNotDeadFilm

Official YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/godsnotdeadthemovie

Official Instagram; http://instagram.com/godsnotdeadmovie

IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2528814/

Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God’s_Not_Dead_(film)

I think I’ve said this a million times but… I’m excited. It’s great to see more and more films like this.

Peace&Love.

Paula ox’