Breaking my Fast – Breakfast??

I’m ending my fast!

I wrote this post two days ago. I had decided I was ending my social media fast today but as it got closer to today I was no longer sure anymore. Was I ended the fast because God had told me to? Was I ending it because I missed social media? I wasn’t sure anymore. But this morning I prayed about it and I felt complete peace about this decision because the objectives of my fast have been met – or at least are beginning to be met. 


Since the 15th of May, I have been off social media in a bid to grow spiritually, emotionally and mentally.  You can find out more about why I went on the fast in the first place here but in essence, I wanted to see growth.

Exponential growth.

I was tired of seeing subtle growth in my personality and in my outlook on life. So I decided to block a few distractions and see what would happen. It was kind of a social experiment, with me as the guinea pig and God controlling all the factors. Guys, He really came through. He always does to be honest.

I’ve learned a few things about myself – in conjunction with this – that I realised have in the past hindered a deeper relationship with both God and people. I’m ready to move past that.

I have seen glimpses of my purpose and vision in life. And I say glimpses, because it’s still really hazy. But then again, who doesn’t love surprises? (Joke – I hate surprises. Pray 4 me)

I am entering a new season (coinciding with summerrrrr too!) and I both terrified and excited –  texcited if you will 😉

All in all, I have a fresh new perspective. It is time for me to be a real adult and live my life.  God’s got me, so I’m good.

 

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

Advertisements

Stress is Not my Friend

As of now, I’ve handed in four out of five of my assignments due this month.  I submitted two group projects today and if that has taught me anything it’s I handle stress badly.

I am a really good team player – and that’s not me boasting! And I really do thrive under pressure. But being under pressure and being stressed are not the same things. When I am stressed, I feel like every little thing is out to annoy and frustrate me. I’ve always been like this but today reminded me, this is something I need to work on.

Since I’ve been on my fast, and spending more time with God (I know it has only been three days but honestly guys, it has been beautiful), He has exposed to me areas in my life that are far from perfect. Areas that I like to pretend don’t exist but He has shed a light on them and now I growing to be this woman He made me to be. And I am loving it (shoutout McDs!).

But today reminded me, I still have a way to go.

I started the day happy and prepared. By three o’clock, I had accepted that the five o’clock deadline would not be met. And with that acceptance, I lost all the joy I felt before. Stress drained me. I felt tired. I become a very down, very quiet and very very irritable. And in that state, I really cannot do anything.

I try and avoid being stressed. With the last few months being the busiest months of my life (second of uni is no joke!), I have done everything in my power to avoid stress and anxiety. And for the most part, I’ve been able to. But the thing wrong with that is it has been in my power. I have been reliant on my strength. As I write this I am beginning to understand, I do not have to be dependant on my own power and my own strength – especially because they can fail me. I can rely on God’s. I know it sounds super cheesy but it’s true.

As human, we all say and do things we wish we didn’t. We try to control all aspects of our lives, but we can’t. And maybe it is time to accept that because we can’t we should rely on Someone who actually can.

My friend Dan likes to remind me that I’m a control freak, and for the most part I am, but I really am starting to understand that I do not have the power, I do not have the strength to control everything. Just like how today our project was finished at 5:45 instead of 5pm and I could do nothing about it. My sulking and moodiness did not change the outcome, it did not make it finish any quicker, if anything it had the adverse effect.

Accepting this is not the same as accepting defeat or giving up – no, quite the opposite. It gives you the inspiration and motivation to work as hard as you can. But it also gives you the wisdom to realise when you’re at the end of the rope and invite God to take you the rest of the way.

The Bible says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” {1 Peter 5:7}

What else do I need??

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

Drastic steps to growth

Sometimes getting to the next level, in whatever context, really requires you to do something drastic. 

Something a little different from what you would normally do. They say foolishness is doing the same thing each time and expecting a different result. I am starting to really understand that.

This year, 2017 and generally this academic year (Sept 2016- now), I have been going on and on about how I want to reach the next level with God. I want to really REALLY know Him. I want to love what He loves and hate what He hates. I want speak like Him, and act like Him. And while this is starting to sound like something out of the Jungle Book, I am deadly serious.

I have seen such growth in my life: emotionally, mentally, spiritually (and of course physically!) and that has always been something that has made me so proud of myself. But why should I be proud about reaching new levels – isn’t that exactly what life is about? A baby reaches milestones every single day. And while the parents may like to act like their baby is the smartest baby to ever set foot on the face of the Earth for taking five steps before falling, it’s not. That is just the next stage in that baby’s life.

I am at that next stage. I have almost finished my second year of university. I am about to start my year long placement (more on that in the next few posts – we thank God). And now, I am at the stage where I want to fall in love with the Lord.

I’ve been reading a Full: Food, Jesus and the Battle for Satisfaction by Asheritah Ciuciu (amazing book btw, book review is definitely pending) and learning more and more about how to find total satisfaction in God and in myself.

So I’ve now hit a crossroad where I have to be real with myself. Saying the same words and doing the same things will not create a new result. If I say I want to grow in God and grow in who He made me to be, I must take a step (in literal, practical faith) towards that.

So I made a list.

All good things start with writing a list.

I’ve written a list of practical things I can do, in a bid to shift my priorities to God and things of Him. The first thing (and the only thing on the list that I’ve done so far lool) is delete all social media. I know I speak of drastic actions and this does not sound like it is, but trust me it is. If you know me, you’ll know how much social media means to me. I means a lot. Too much. And taking a break from it (a proper break, not those silly three-day social media fasts I go on quite often that don’t do anything at all) for however long I feel led to, is one way to reconnect to God.

I am excited to share this journey with you guys. As this blog turns FIVE (How crazy is it that a quarter of my life is on this blog?!!) I will get to share with you all some grown-up truths as I learn them myself.

The site title says Paula Melissa: Here to Inspire. All I have ever wanted to do, with my blog, my YouTube channel, my life, is inspire people. But it is now time for me to find my source of Inspiration. And to hopefully to inspire you to look to Him too.

Peace&Love… and growth!

Paula Melissa xx

Five Days of Tears and Restoration

I cried five days in a row. Not for anything bad, but just because I could not physically fathom how amazing God is.

paula-33
Pictures by Sam

Last week, I went to Wales for the weekend, with my friends from my fellowship RY Sheffield. This wasn’t a cheeky getaway, as much as we did have fun, it was a retreat. It was time to get off social media and the internet. Get away from uni work. And focus totally on God. I was truly blessed that weekend.

Everyone kept saying “come expectant” but I don’t think I really did. I just asked God to reveal Himself to me. He did one better – He revealed Himself to me and also revealed me to me.

I learnt so much about myself. And it was the first time, in a long long time, that I really realised how much GRACE and MERCY I have experienced from God in my life.

So why did I cry for 5 days…

Well, it starts with me finally coming to terms with the fact that I’m an emotional person. Or should I say an emotive person? Because I am not irrationally moved by emotions (most of the time!). I just mean that I usually feel emotions passionately. I’m not a passive ‘feeler’ – if that makes sense.

These five days God used my emotions to convey to me how vulnerable and transparent I need to be both with Him and myself. He’s all knowing so He knows it all already, but He WANTS me to come before Him. He wants me to release every single thing into his hand. William McDowell (sidenote; as I write this post, lots of my friends are in Birmingham at his concert. I’m super jel) has a song called Withholding Nothing and that’s the mindset I need to have. Releasing every single thing – the good and the bad.

I don’t enjoy crying, I don’t think any sane person does. But the thing about crying, you always feel lighter afterwards (and always feel like taking a nap lol). God has spoken to me through different people, each of these five days.

I have never felt so good after crying as I do now. Because the Bible literally says weeping may happen in the night but joy comes in the morning and this makes me hopeful for the super joyful morning that is coming v v soon!

And the award for the worst crying face goes to...
And the award for the worst crying face goes to…

Peace&Love.

Ya girl, Paula Melissa xx

Hello, My Name is Paula and I’m Addicted to My Phone!!

Addicted. Addiction.

They are such ‘hard’ words but I’ve come to believe that in order to overcome – or at least begin to overcome – them you have to admit that they actual exist. So that’s my first step: I have a slight addiction to my phone and more specifically social media, messaging and generally scrolling.

You guys, I am not even exaggerating. The other day I caught myself scrolling through my emails, constantly refreshing my emails. Like… that’s not normal.

I always told myself that I did not have a problem with my phone, social media and all that stuff. But recently God has really been speaking to me about. More clearly that you can imagine. So clearly that the idea of it being a coincidence could not even cross my mind.

I would go on Twitter and see tweets. I would go my Bible app and see verses. I’d go on Facebook and see posts. I’d speak to someone and they’d be like, “yeah I’m just on a social media fast, you know. It can be so addictive!” and my brain would just spontaneously combust, while I smiled and nodded in agreement.

This post is not to say that social media or my phone is bad. No. It’s to say the love of those things above God is bad. For me, it’s the constant longing to know what other people are doing, where they are going, who they are with and how much fun they seem to be having. It is the constant need to look like I got my ‘stuff’ together. It is the constant need to ‘update’ people with my life, people who probably do not care that much.

So here’s to spending more time away from my phone. Here’s to ignoring the inner longing to ‘quickly’ scroll on instagram and see how many likes my pic got. Here’s to growing my relationships with God, my family and friends instead of having people online like me lol!

Oh and I’ve just released that this is my first post of the year, so Happy (ever-so-slightly belated) New Year, my loves! I hope 2017 will be a great year for you, full of lessons and blessings!

2017, looking good 😉

Peace&Love.

Ya girl, Paula Melissa x

God Worked Through His Deception

I wrote this post for Lively Stones and can be found here!


I was reading Genesis 27:19-33, which is the story of how Jacob, with the help of his mother Rebekah, deceived his father, Isaac and stole his older brother Esau’s blessings.

I considered the fact that Jacob actually used deception as a means to receiving blessings from his dying father – this was a blessing that was due to the elder twin, Esau. The fact that Isaac had reserved this blessing specifically for Esau also implies that there was another, perhaps a smaller, less passionate blessing reserved for his second son Jacob. But Jacob (and his mum) wanted that first-born, hefty blessing.

Why would God allow their deceptive plan to work? Why would he allow Jacob to be blessed through the deception of a blind old man?

Well, it all stems to a few chapters back in Genesis 25 when Rebekah is pregnant with the twins.

22: The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, “Why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the Lord.

23: The Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.”

From the beginning there had been a power struggle between Jacob and Esau and from the beginning, God had made it clear that Jacob would be on top of his brother. Rebekah must have kept this in her mind since their birth and have constantly been looked for opportunities for this prophesy to be manifested. Because God had decided this, I believe that no matter whether Isaac wanted to bless Jacob or not, Jacob would have been blessed. It was already ordained.

When God has a plan for your life, a destination, a destiny, I believe there are different paths to reach it. There is the path that God has initially created for you. This path has His divine backing all of the way, but that does not mean that it is smooth all of the way. Let me be real, with God things are not suddenly easier, but they are doable because you have a source of never ending strength in God.

With God things are not suddenly easier, but they are doable because you have a source of never ending strength in God.

As well as the path God has planned for us to take, there are paths outside of His will that we, as humans, often stumble across because sometimes we think we know it better. We do not. While these paths were not where God wanted us to go, He will still use our circumstances to elevate us to that final destination. That is what happened here!

God was NOT happy with Jacob deceiving his dad and Jacob did have to suffer later on in life as a result of his actions. Jacob even had someone deceive him – his uncle Laban made him work more years than agreed to marry his daughter. God has a sense of humour, so be careful what path you try and follow, especially if you know that God is not a part of it.

It is comforting to know that in all things, God is in control. Even when we deviate from the script. Even when we getfaith confused and think we are making mistakes. God can work through our situations to make us strong, wiser and better, ready for His ordained plan for us. Whether we feel like we are on the wrong course at university or we are confused about our futures – find peace in the knowledge that God’s got our backs.

Practically speaking, pray, pray pray then do not be scared to jump. One thing I have learnt this year is that in certain areas, what God wants us to do is not always clear. So just pray and jump. And trust that He will be there to catch you because He will be.

Pray, pray pray then do not be scared to jump.

 

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

It’s personal…

I wrote this a long time ago but I didn’t post it for the very reason that it is personal. I do not worry as much now, which is why I am posting it now. But everything I say still applies. Respect my wishes.

It’s times like this that I strongly dislike having people I know well read my blog. Strangers don’t judge you or treat you differently when they found out you’re a little more broken than you let on.

But I don’t care about that right now. This is my blog, therefore it is my life and my feelings that will be presented here.

Do not under any circumstances try and talk to me or message me about this post. I don’t want to talk to you about it. I do not want to know if you have read this or not. I am not writing it for anyone but myself; do not see it as a weakness.

Now, unto the sensitive subject of financial security or should I say insecurity. Growing up, I have always known the value of the pound, mainly because we were always counting them. I don’t know when exactly this began but I vaguely remember, one day we had money for every little thing I asked for, then the next day, mummy and daddy were saying no because they needed to pay the rent.

Listen, I would never ever complain about how much I have and I would never ever blame my parents or anyone. Because my family have made some crazy sacrifices for me. My parents are two of the most hard working individuals on the face of the planet. They have so many roles I literally have to take a breath before I begin to describe them. That’s one thing I got from them.

The perks of being financially insecure is that you learn how to do without. I could do without the latest stuff and I was fine. I still had friends. I still fitted in. How many kids nowadays can say that?! Another perk is that I knew how to stretch every pound and every penny’s worth. If you give me a fiver, I could come back with a multitude of treasures (I’m basically the glam version of a bargain hunter).

Since the age of twevle, I have been obsessed with the idea of getting a job. Looking back now, I realise that as much as I enjoyed hard work, it was also because I craved stability. Debt scares me, like crazy.

There are so many things about me and my background that people would never even realise because of the way I carry myself. I am not my problems or struggles. I am Paula; a strong woman who works so hard for everything she has and therefore deserves them.

This post isn’t going to change my life or change who I am. But this post is helping me to accept who I am and to remind me why it is I work so hard.

DSCN0713

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

Things that happened this year that I am thankful for – 2015 + video

IMG_3420

2015 has been a whirlwind of highs and lows (mainly highs). This post is going to highlight some of the highs in a bid to be thankful to God for everything that has happened this year.  So, in no particular order;

  • 2015 is the year I successfully completed my A Levels. This is a big deal to me because no one but the Lord truly understands how hard I worked and how stressed I was at that time.
  • Following on from the previous point, 2015 is the year I began university. I can honestly say, uni is THE best thing to have ever happen to me. I love all the new people from all over the UK I have met. I love the independence. I love how much I have surprised myself. I love that everyday is different and some how even the most mundane, routine of tasks seems fun to me.
  • 2015 is the year I was awarded the Royal Television Society’s Television Production and Broadcast Journalism Bursary. I think sometimes I forget how amazing this actually is. I am one of a handful of undergraduates who it was awarded to. Also, the RTS are such a respected organisation, I know I am learning from the best of the best.
  • 2015 is the year I worked on NCS. National Citizen Service is a youth program that I was actually a part of a few years ago, so to come back and work on it, as a mentor, was amazing. I have never worked this hard before but at the same time, it was so fulfilling knowing I was making a difference in the lives of the young people I worked with over the summer.
  • 2015 is the year I went on a weekend away retreat with my uni’s Christian Union. This may not be a big deal to some people but it was to me. Despite growing up in a Christian home, I did not have the conventional ‘Christian Kid’ childhood of going to Christian summer camps and Sunday schools and all that good stuff. This weekend was quite pivotal in my Christian walk because I learned to stop judging other Christians. Plainly put, I was seeing God through the lenses of other Christians around me. I was not seeing that they were broken, messed up people just like me.
  • Nicely following on, 2015 is the year that my relationship with God has grown. I think this has a lot to do with university. At uni, God became my God and no longer the God of my parents. I had to go and find out what I believed and why I believed it. No one could believe on my behalf any more. I am still not yet where I need to be, but I am definitely getting there.
  • 2015 is the year my confidence grew in terms of singing in front of people. I have grown up singing in front of a congregation at church but I used to be terrified to sing any other time. I still get terrified, but I heard nerves can be good. This year I sang in my Senior Prom in front of my whole year group. This year, I also sang at an open mic night at uni. Both these performances were huge steps for me.
  • 2015 is the year I fulfilled my childhood dream of going to a WWE live event. I grew up watching WWE with my family and we always spoke of the day we would go and watch it live. It is the best feeling when you finally do something that the younger you has always wanted but believed would never happen – so fulfilling.
  • Last  but not least, 2015 is the year I continued to be dedicated to this blog and to my YouTube channel (click here to Subscribe ). My budget, time and sometimes motivation has been limited this year yet I am proud of the content I have put out to the world. 2016 everything will be bigger and better.

I have grown a tremendous amount this year. God has been so good. Please join me and be grateful for this year because it puts you in a good, prepared mindset for 2016.

 

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

The Addition and Subtraction of Christmas

download (7)

Christmas time is definitely everyone’s favourite time of year, but I worry that people forget what the reason for this season is. This is because over the past few decades, we as a society have added things to Christmas and subtracted vital things from it.

Happy Holidays!

I first noticed ‘Happy Holidays’ replacing Merry Christmas a few years ago when there were suddenly more ‘Happy Holidays’ cards in card shops and people would greet you it, instead of Merry Christmas. From what I understand, it is a bid to include and incorporate other religious holidays that also happen to fall around the Christmas season (November till January).

I of all people am a huge advocate of equality and social cohesion for all types of people, religions and so on. However, I also believe in the monopolisation of religion. By this I mean, every religion is different and therefore each religious celebration should be given the space and monopoly to be celebrated how and when it wants to, respectively.

Personally, I think the merger of multiple (different) religious holidays to the replacement of one of the most important Christian celebrations is disrespectful. Why can’t we say Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Eid Mubarak separately? Why can’t we get cards that print these separately. Why must we combine all our celebrations and holidays, all for the sake of being politically correct and economically efficient.

It’s not about the money, money, money!

Christmas has become so over-commercialised that young families have come to secretly dread this time of year. Children are taught that Christmas equals expensive presents from mummy and daddy, while mummy and daddy are struggling to pay the bills and ensure that those same children have food in their bellies. It is actually so sad.

Whether you are a Christian or not, Christmas is a period we should all think about love. Jesus’ birth was the beginning of a demonstration of the craziest display of love man and womankind can even begin to think about. It is a time to show those around you love. To that lonely, elderly neighbour. To that widowed man who sits next to you on the bus every day.Spread Christmas spirit by showing random acts of kindness and love.

I hope that my children (in the distant future;) grow up in a society less concerned about commercial matters like what £150 trainers are in style or what new flashy toy is on trend and are more concerned with being good people.

Christmas hymns and carols being replaced with Christmas songs

I am generally a fan of modern things. Being born in the 90s, on the eve of the new millennium, I am part of what they call the digital generation. Also, I am a huge love of Christmas music all year around (yass a little bit of Bublé or Mariah is always good). But what I am not a fan of is carols and hymns being replaced with songs that are only Christmas related because they mention Santa or Mistletoe. I love the classics like ‘Oh Holy Night’, ‘Away in the Manger’ and ‘Silent Night’.

I am not saying those other songs do not have a place, because of course they do. It’s just their place is not at carol services – I do not want to be hearing ‘Santa Claus is coming to town’ in a carol service please and thank you.

The disappearance of the nativity scene

There are some obvious inaccuracies in nativity scenes but over all, they are such an important part of Christmas, especially for children. We rarely hear of school nativity plays in schools any more, and when we do, we only hear about them because they have been drastically added to or subtracted from.

The subtraction of the main guy Himself

It can be argued (and it definitely is) that Christmas is a pagan holiday and is not the right time of year. People need to understand that those things hardly matter. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, who was God born in human form to die for the sins and salvation of the whole world. Whether or not you believe this does not influence or change what Christmas is.

Of course people who do not believe that still enjoy Christmas time, and rightly so. But we as a society need to stop editing Jesus out of Christmas, with the intentions of not hurting people’s feelings.

Growing up in London, we were taught to be tolerant and respectful of other religions and cultures. We were taught what things were offensive to people’s beliefs and therefore we respected that. We would never dream of amending other religious holidays, so then why is it so easy to take the Christ out of Christmas?

It’s not Xmas, it’s CHRISTmas. 

If there are parts of Christmas you do not agree with, then simply do not participate in them. I would prefer that. Than taking out the key message of the whole thing – Jesus. He’s the reason for the season.

I think the moral of this post is that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. We need to stop making Christmas all things to all people. Christmas is what it is. Have fun with it and adapt it for yourself, your family and community. But do not claim that that universally Christmas, that’s your Christmas traditions. Do not let Christmas lose its value and just become another thing we do in the year.
Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

PRAY FOR PARIS, PRAY FOR HUMANITY

images

 

 

 

My heart is really heavy, right now. There are so many things going on in the world that make me feel small, and useless and out of control. Yes, I know this is not about me but I want to be able to feel like I have done something to reduce the hurt that our world is feeling.

An earthquake in Japan. An attack in Lebanon. Bombings in Baghdad. Hurricane in Mexico. Terrorist attacks in Paris. I do not know what is happening and why it is happening, and neither do I claim to. If you have been affected by any of these disasters, I pray that you and your families are comforted. All I can offer are my prayers and my condolences.

I feel like we are getting closer and closer to the end of the world and while this is a really scary thought, I am strangely comforted by the idea of meeting my Maker soon. I know you may not what to here this as it may sound like a total cliché, but honestly, God is in control. I do not understand what is happening and I do not fully understand God and His ways, but I think that we will be alright.

Keep praying and keep fighting, because we only lose when we turn on each other based on religion and race and political views. We need to understand that before any of that, we share one thing in common – we are all human. We are all part of the human race. There are human beings out there today mourning the loss of children, wives, and husbands. Why not focus your energy on praying for them and showing them love in anyway you can, instead of spreading hatred towards people and religious groups. We are all mourning, as a human race we are all mourning.

My heart is so heavy. #PrayForHumanity

Paula Melissa xx

 

Jehovah Jireh, My Provider

Guys, this is a really real, really raw post, because right now, in this very moment, I am feeling some really real, really raw feelings.

It is days like this, moments like these that I begin to understand why they call God Jehovah Jireh! He is a provider. When you need something, He will supply it for You.

Coming to University was a new experience for me. It was my first real taste of actual independence. I am an adult. I am in charge of what I do, where I go, what I eat and perhaps most importantly where I spend my money.

This summer before uni, I got a job and worked really hard with the intention of saving money. However, as soon the money touched my bank account, it seemed to instantly evaporate literally into thin air. I suddenly had all these expenses and I watched as my hard-earned money disappeared.

You do not realise the value of money until you work for it yourself. You start to question all your purchases, like “This dress is worth 2 hours of work. Is it really worth it?”

I then got to the stage, nearly a month into uni, when I realised that food is expensive. So are textbooks. So are clothes and washing and printing and buses. Everything costs money and I was running low on the stuff.

So I did what any reasonable person would do. I called my parents. I expected a swift transfer of money into my account, instead I was met with “Trust in the Lord, Paula. Don’t worry.”

Okay. My parents  quoting Bible scriptures is a normal occurrence for me and usually it is quite comforting, but not this time. Like, obviously I trust in the Lord but can you just transfer some money to me please???? [They did eventually send me some money. Eventually!]

But reluctantly I did. I trusted in God and left the fact that I had no money in His hands and did not allow it to ruin my day.

I call Him Jehovah Jireh because He provides in ways that are beyond our imagination. He provides through means that we are not even aware of.

If you take Him as your Jehovah Jireh, He will show up strong. Just call out to him, leave it in His hands and trust in Him.

 

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

University, here I come

I have been making myself seem busier than I actually am in order to ignore the fact that I am going to university in 4 days and 3 nights.

But I can’t ignore it – on Sunday the 20th of September, I will be leaving my family home and going to university.

Do you want the truth? (This is the part where you expect me to pour out my emotions and express how nervous and anxious I am feeling about basically starting a new life – a new independent life – on the other side of the country.) The truth is, I am just not that nervous.

Last night, I couldn’t sleep and I kept subconsciously telling myself ‘it’s the nerves’ and rightly so. But truthfully, I am not that scared. There is obviously some excitement there, but other than the bare minimum, I just want to go and start my new life.

Here’s why: Every year of my life, every birthday, every new school academic year, every new job, I always try and reinvent myself and be the Paula I have always wanted to be. Halfway through that year, I realise that I haven’t changed that much.  It took many years for me to accept the Paula I am, and that is when I became a grown up (still questionable). I am excited for uni because this is the place where the real Paula will be unleashed (questionable verb choice, yes I know. It conveys imagery of unleashing a deadly virus which I promise was not deliberate). At uni, I won’t know anyone so I won’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations of who Paula is. I won’t even have to live up to my own.

The only expectations I will live up to is what God has made me to be, because I’m still in the process of figuring that out. University is the perfect setting to discover who you truly are, without the input of others.

So, if you are nervous about university – whether you are staying at home, moving across the country or even going to another country – just remember that this is your opportunity to find out who your really are. It is the time and place to discover what you are passionate about and what special, fantastic thing you bring to the world.

Be excited and prepared and excited (yes, I said excited twice). Make lots of new friends, have lots of fun (responsibly) and learn lots of new things.

Here’s to the first year of the rest of our lives!

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

The Treasures of the Heart

  

“Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.”‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:21‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Whatever thing (or person) that is always in your mind becomes a god or an idol on your life. Whatever thing (or person) is the first thing you check in the morning or constantly do because you feel incomplete without it; it has taken control over you.

As I write this, I have just come back from a weekend away from social media. No I didn’t go anywhere and yes I still used my phone, but I just made the conscious effort to not check my Instagram, Twitter, Whatsapp and Snapchat apps all weekend. I did this because they were controlling my life. Without even needing to exaggerate, I would find myself waking up and checking snapchat before even praying. I would find myself obsessing over how many likes I got on Instagram. It was getting bad.

I was beginning to care more about what other people thought about me than what I thought, and more importantly, what God thought. My days were merging into one because I wasn’t getting the things I wanted to get done done, due to spending hours on my phone messaging people. My Bible app lay dormant while my Twitter app worked overtime overheating my phone.

It was time. And it felt good. I don’t need to focus on what the world is doing. I just need to focus on what I am doing.
Peace&Love. 

Paula Melissa xx