It’s personal…

I wrote this a long time ago but I didn’t post it for the very reason that it is personal. I do not worry as much now, which is why I am posting it now. But everything I say still applies. Respect my wishes.

It’s times like this that I strongly dislike having people I know well read my blog. Strangers don’t judge you or treat you differently when they found out you’re a little more broken than you let on.

But I don’t care about that right now. This is my blog, therefore it is my life and my feelings that will be presented here.

Do not under any circumstances try and talk to me or message me about this post. I don’t want to talk to you about it. I do not want to know if you have read this or not. I am not writing it for anyone but myself; do not see it as a weakness.

Now, unto the sensitive subject of financial security or should I say insecurity. Growing up, I have always known the value of the pound, mainly because we were always counting them. I don’t know when exactly this began but I vaguely remember, one day we had money for every little thing I asked for, then the next day, mummy and daddy were saying no because they needed to pay the rent.

Listen, I would never ever complain about how much I have and I would never ever blame my parents or anyone. Because my family have made some crazy sacrifices for me. My parents are two of the most hard working individuals on the face of the planet. They have so many roles I literally have to take a breath before I begin to describe them. That’s one thing I got from them.

The perks of being financially insecure is that you learn how to do without. I could do without the latest stuff and I was fine. I still had friends. I still fitted in. How many kids nowadays can say that?! Another perk is that I knew how to stretch every pound and every penny’s worth. If you give me a fiver, I could come back with a multitude of treasures (I’m basically the glam version of a bargain hunter).

Since the age of twevle, I have been obsessed with the idea of getting a job. Looking back now, I realise that as much as I enjoyed hard work, it was also because I craved stability. Debt scares me, like crazy.

There are so many things about me and my background that people would never even realise because of the way I carry myself. I am not my problems or struggles. I am Paula; a strong woman who works so hard for everything she has and therefore deserves them.

This post isn’t going to change my life or change who I am. But this post is helping me to accept who I am and to remind me why it is I work so hard.

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Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

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10 reasons why I would not go on I’m a Celeb

To the wonderful people who have not yet had the divine pleasure of watching or knowing of the show, I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! allow me the honour of introducing it to you. I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here (I’m a Celeb) is a British reality TV show, where ‘celebrities’ are taken to a jungle in Australia to stay for a couple of weeks. They have to do creepy, scary challenges, such as eat bugs, just in order to win food. Honestly, it is one of my guilty pleasures. Absolutely love it.

Most of the time, the ‘celebrities’ are people that were on some show that only had one series about six years ago, or were in a band that had one hit about fifteen years before I was born. Basically, people who were once relevant and are no longer relevant, so they go on the show to try to become famous once again! Lovely. Shout out to the amazingly brilliant ITV producers who manage to make us, the Great British TV viewing public, tune in every night (or record the whole series then watch it in one go, if you are like me) with their fantastic writing. You guys are the real MVPs.

So, I was watching the show and wondering whether or not I would do I’m a celeb, you know, if I ever got famous. To be perfectly honest, I do not think I could ever bring myself to do it, and here are 10 reasons why;

1. I would spend most of my time fangirling (adjective: obsessing and acting crazy in the presence of a famous person/people) over Ant and Dec and that one lone relevant celebrity that IS actually famous and everyone ACTUALLY knows who they are. But mostly Ant and Dec. Sorry but they are freaking legends. I would honestly just stand there, wide-eyed, gawping and grinning at them (I bet I’m taller than Dec). They would actually kick me off the show as soon as I got there.

2. This is probably a big reason – I am scared of everything. Literally everything, I am not even exaggerating. From that first step into Australia (Actually, how would I get to Australia,  I’m scared of planes) I would be terrified. I would probably cry. A lot. I’d probably do a Gillian (if you know, you know;)

3. I would find everyone irritating as hell. I would get into so many arguments. Not because I’m argumentative but because in that kind of environment, anything and everything would annoy you. And it is the kind of thing where you can’t even walk away, trying to be the be the bigger person and everything. Like, where could you go? To the shower? Toilet?

4. The idea of cameras watching and following your every move freaks me out. I always say I want my life to be made into a reality tv show, but honestly I wouldn’t really. In the jungle, you can’t even discretely pick your nose without it becoming news in the Metro back home. Stress.

5. This one links with number 4 but I honestly think it is so significant it deserves its own number. Number five: the fact that women are constantly filmed parading in bikinis or showering or sun-bathing. I understand that here in England, we get no sun so the excitement of feeling the suns rays in Aus is overwhelming but this still bamboozles me. Obviously, no disrespect to the women, because they are obviously allowed to do what ever they want to. Some of these ‘celebrities’ are married, some have kids. And now their husbands have shared their wives, and their kids have shared their mother, with the entire male population of the UK. I couldn’t do it to the future beau. Other than that, how are they comfortable knowing that the whole country is judging their bodies. The whole country is deciding on who shouldn’t have had that extra jam doughnut on the helicopter ride into camp, and who evidently had spent weeks living in the gym prior. I just could not do that to myself.

6. I am much too awkward to go on the show. This is a real problem, please dear reader, take this seriously. You know that bit where the celebrities are meeting for the first time, with their guarded smiles, polite handshakes and unsure hugs – yeah, that, I couldn’t do that bit. My introduction would be a mixed of statements similar to, but in no way exclusive to;

“Hi, I’m Paula. Yes, the Paula of telly.”

“No. No, I swear I AM actually famous.”

“So, who are you then?”

“Omds, my mum used to watch you on telly. Before I was born. Wait.. Was it TV or radio? I think it might have been newspaper.”

“Wow! I remember you! You look so… different in real life.”

“I used to love you when I was much younger.”

“Do you have Twitter? Follow me when we get out if here. Oh… Instagram then? Okay, ask your granddaughter to instead.”

You see, I just haven’t mastered the art of small talk and conversation yet.

7. I am quite picky about what I eat and drink so I would probably just starve. They have meals like Ostrich and Emu – am I a goat to be eating that, please? I would fully eat rice, beans and porridge every single day. And to drink, they ways give them ‘treats’ of alcohol. “Do this challenge and everyone gets a beer” – but I don’t freaking drink and I don’t freaking want a beer, so that is a waste of my participation, to be perfectly honest. I would probably ask for mango juice, or apple if they didn’t have mango.

8. I would probably have super crazy mood swings due to lack of better food than beans, rice and porridge. I do not deal with hunger very well.

9. Feeling obligated to say, I would probably miss my family and friends. I would end up crying every other hour, moaning about how I miss my dog. And I am not a pretty crier.

10. Finally, the biggest reason why I probably would not and could not go on I’m a Celeb is that my mum probably wouldn’t let me. She saw a snake make a cameo on the show once and assumes the show is of the devil (obviously). My family would probably disown me, then tell everyone at church to disown me. That would be bad.

So there you have it, ten perfectly legitimate excuses reasons why I could never and would never do I’m a Celeb, even though I love watching it. But then again, the money…

I hope you enjoyed this post. I had a lot of fun writing it. Do not take anything I have said too seriously, it was a joke. Mainly 😉

Peace&Love.

Paula ox’

#DearMe – VIDEO – What would you tell your younger self?

#DearMe

So recently, I kept seeing YouTube advertising this #DearMe hashtag. After a little bit of digging, I discovered it was part of a celebration of International Women’s day. The hashtag accompanies videos where YouTubers say words of encouragement and advice to their younger self.

Here’s the original video on YouTube.

It inspired me to think about what I would tell younger Paula. What should she have known that would have made growing up a lot easier? So I filmed this quick video!

Enjoy, and think, what has changed in your life? What have you overcome growing up? What would you tell your younger self to worry less about?

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

Why does everyone blame the media? Twitter rant

Nowadays, the media never get cut some slack. Everyone takes the liberty of bashing it, repeating the many wrong components of the media. What annoys me about this is that, the media report and promote essentially what people care about and what people want to know about. Sadly, this is generally bad news. I am not saying this is a good thing, because obviously it is not, but how can we blame the media for the negative things that happen in the world when the media is virtually constructed by us?

I have always made it know that I plan to pursue a career in the media as a journalist. I say this with pride because I think that a job where you are paid to write about life and the world is amazing. The media conveys information and communicates it to people. Obviously, there are people at the top of media institutions who are pulling the strings to personally benefit their selves, but overall, we construct the media. It aims to write stories that people want to read. It aims to film reports people want to watch. It aims to broadcast information that people want to hear. I do not believe that the whole institution of the media should be prosecuted for the bad things you see on your telly, especially when you’re the one who wants to hear about it.

I think our society needs to prioritise good news just as much as we do the bad. Of course, it is important to know about murders and terrorists attacks and things like that, but what about young people in business? What about women who are on the verge of changing the world? What about developing nations who are making amazing advances every single day. If we cared more about those things, and less about the negative of this world. If we cared less about global politics and religious wars and every country thinking they what is best, the media would be a lot more respected for it’s work.

And it should be respected. The media takes us to places we would never be able to reach, without even needing to leave our bedrooms. It makes us aware of the struggles people face, but at the same time, it should make aware the victories people make. If we praised the good the media does, we would get more people going into the media and communications professions with ethics and values, with the intention of bettering the world. And less going into the sector to make money from people’s misery.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just my thoughts! I was on fire briefly, but I have cooled down now lol.

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

let it go, let it go

My last post was rather emotionally driven – more of a spur in the moment thing – and I have considered deleting it many times, but for now I’m leaving it. I think that I’m leaving it because I understand the importance of writing personally and being myself. This is a lifestyle blog, and death is a part of life – that’s my reasoning behind it, basically.

Anyway, on a happier note, here’s a short funny story my friend told me yesterday. It probably isn’t the funniest thing in the history of comedy, but at the time (In a painfully boring English Language and Literature lesson) I was crying actual tears of laughter.

I’m telling it from his point of view (with lots of added exaggeration (of course)):

I was at church on Sunday. The Pastor (the guy who stands at the front, basically) announced that his young daughter had a song to sing to the congregation (the people who sit on the chairs, basically). His youngest daughter refused to come up to sing the song unless her sister came with her. So the two sisters probably aged four and six, came to the front of the church to minister their song. They began singing into the microphone, first shaky then progressively more confident.

*The snow blows white on the mountain tonight…*        

I was like, Hold on! I swear I know this song. Obviously, I said this in my head because it would have been rude to interrupt the little girls singing. Suddenly, I heard synchronised screams as other Frozen fangirls joined into their jam.

*LET IT GO! LET IT GO!*

Were they really singing Let It Go from Frozen, at church. I couldn’t actually believe it. When they finally finished screeching, the adults began clapping like they sang the most inspiring song ever.

I told you that you wouldn’t find it as funny as I did. Honestly, I was laughing so much. But on a side note, who else is tired of Frozen and Let It Go now (I used to be a die hard Frozen fan, but even I can admit, it needs to be stopped).

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Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa x

Another year

It’s my birthday!!

I get way too excited for my birthday every year, you would actually think I was turning ten lol. But yes, another year has come and gone and that is fairly exciting because that year of life wasn’t promised. What I mean by that is that it wasn’t certain that I would be alive for another year of life and I am grateful that I am. This year taught me so many crazy, amazing, necessary things. I’ve become a stronger person, a more mature person, a more tolerant person. This year has fuelled my journey of becoming a complete person – mind, body and soul. God is working on me, and this year has played such a prominent part in that process.

I am grateful for my family, my friends and all my blog readers. Thank you for everything you have all added to my life.

Let me also take this opportunity to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous new year. 2015 must rock!

 

Here’s to another year guys 🙂

Peace&Love.

Paula ox’

WHO IS YOUR SHARPENER?

“Iron sharpens iron; so a friend sharpens a friend.” (Prov. 27:17, NLT)
The people you keep around you will determine how effective you would become in life. You would either move faster or slowly due to their push or pull. You can never be drastically different from your friends. You are just like them, in their belief system, the way they think and talk, and what they prioritize. Therefore, be mindful and carefully who you allow into your life. A Judas may betray you and an Absalom may try to overthrow you. A King Saul may want to take away your life before you get to your throne and a Delilah may want to seduce you, deceive you and take away your strength and render you powerless. For your life to reach where God has destined it to be, you must filter your contacts. Not everyone around you can help you get to your destination. Some may be destroyers and others may be detractors. Beware! Just like iron sharpens irons, move with people who can bring the best out of you.

How to make an impact – 4 simple steps

Have you ever asked yourself, ‘how do I make an impact?’ In this kind of world, it gets harder to truly be the person God made you and wants you to be.

1) Make an impact through the type of lifestyle you live
People are watching you… Us. Everyone is looking for that guidance, that ‘something’ and therefore we must be that ‘something’ in their lives, shown through our lives.Be a comforting voice or reason in peoples lives, a voice that reassures everyone. Let people know you as a positive person, a person know for uplifting words and actions, not words and actions that pull others down.

2) Make an impact through your giving.
This one is a little touchy because I know most of you lot were literally like, “Oh! Heck no! My money is my money!”, but giving don’t always mean money. It can mean giving your time, your emotions, your service, your resources or your knowledge. If someone is in need, and you are capable of helping them, help them. It’s not everyday sit and wait until they come to you begging on their needs; some days just help wholeheartedly. It is literally the little things that people will notice are different in your life. You’re in McDonald’s for lunch with a friend. You’ve already ordered and paid for your lunch. Your friend assumes he/she has more money than she actually does and can’t afford the medium diet coke with the meal. If you have that extra pound, give it to the friend. That is making an impact with your giving. Lastly, don’t be that person who keeps a record of your givings. “I gave you 33p on the 6th of June 2005, it was a Monday, and it was snowing. You was wearing a blue top, I was wearing a red.” That’s just ridiculous. Give wholeheartedly. Again, give wholeheartedly.

3) Make an impact through your speaking
Prayer is communicating with God; it is just talking. It may look like you’re speaking to yourself, but you’re not. God is listening.
You can make an impact by praying over your life and the lives of your friends, family and peers. Quick story; once, a good friend of mine was heading down the wrong path, and it was really worrying me. I didn’t feel like I could talk to her about it because she had the mindset that everyone was judging her, and that everyone, including me, was against her. In fact, it is the exact opposite. I wanted what was best for her. So I tweeted out, “What do you do when your friend is going down the wrong route?” and someone replied and said, “all you can do is pray for them.” Long story short; they are back to where they are supposed to be, thanks to the prayers of myself and her friends, family and church. If you care about someone, pray for them.
2 Chronicles 7:15
15 Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.

4) Make an impact through knowledge and passing on knowledge

The Bible is referred to as ‘The word of God’. Technically, people wrote it, but it was under the interpretation given to them by God. I don’t know how some people expect God to pick up a heavenly pen and heavenly paper and wrote down stuff. God is a spirit and not of this earthly world. Therefore, he must use physical people to physically write down his words. When you hear or read the things written down in the Bible, your faith grows. Faith is your belief, your belief in life, your belief in God and your belief in yourself. Think about it like this, if someone verbally abused a child from a young age over a long period of time, that person will grow into a young adult and believe all the abuse the have heard over time. The Bible works in a similar way, except it is positive, reassuring words that helps you build a confidence which pulls you through troubles and problems in life. The Bible’s definition of faith is found at Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Furthermore, Romans 10:17 (Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.) establishes that hearing the word of God is a priority. As well as hearing the word, you need to be able to share the word with other people. This encourages people who have low levels of faith and belief, in their selves or in life, due to what they have gone through in the past.

These four simple steps work when used all together in a persons life.
These steps are an adaptation from a message heard in church, so not all my own work.
Peace&Love.
Paula ox’

 

Another one on stress and worry

Stress is one thing that I have learnt never really and truly goes away, unless you do something about it. I like to talk about stress because I pretty much battle it everyday. There have been blogs on the topic, videos on the topic (click here), talks about the topic; I’ve done everything. And yet, I still haven’t fully dealt with it.

As a girl, I feel like the problem is a million times harder and stronger because we just stress about school, work, boys, how we look, what people think about us, careers, and literally everything in between. It’s like we subconsciously enjoy worrying and stressing about things that we can’t even change. It’s like we get a strange buzz from telling people the irrational worries that we have, that keep us up all night and occupy our innermost thoughts. It’s almost fun describing these unlikely scenarios to people. I know I do this.

There was a time, I spent hours telling my friend all the silly worries I had about this particular guy. The worries and stresses were consuming my every thought and it genuinely felt good to unload them to my friend. I kept being reminded by an annoying little voice in my head, that I wasn’t pretty enough and that he probably didn’t like me. My friend was so blunt and was just like, “Why doesn’t you just ask him? At least that way you’ll know and you can stop stressing and move on.” So that’s what I did, and even though I didn’t get the answer I wanted, it felt good to have that load off my back so I could finally stop thinking about it all.

The whole point of what I’m saying is, we need to stop worrying and stressing about things we genuinely can’t change, and start fixing and working on the things we can. That’s my new life motto and I’m working my way there. Trust me, it’s not the easiest thing, but God is helping me!

I read in a book called ‘An Enemy Called Average’ by John L. Mason, that “every obstacle has a limited life span.” This means that something you are worrying about today isn’t something you’ll even remember in a weeks time, a months time, a years time. Life moves on and therefore the struggles pass.

Just remember, if someone makes you worry more than makes you happy, you probably do not need them in your life. Cut them out. Simple as. Life is much too short to be anything but happy. On that extremely cheesy note, I’ll end this. But let this be a new beginning for you!


Peace&Love.
Paula ox’

‘Use your talents’ monologue

I wrote this monologue as part of a production at my church.

 

 

Talents. Gifts. Smarts. Forte.

They all mean the excellence.

The brilliance.

The intelligence.

Ingenuity. Of God.

Placed and positioned carefully and precisely in your life. For a reason.

God is not random. God is not man to be random; without reason.

Heard the phrase ‘everything happens for a reason’, well it does.  

You can sing to bless and impact people.

You can dance to bless and relate to people.

You can speak well to bless and motivate people.

You can write well to inspire people.There was a precise reason and plan for you and your life.

So.

Who are you to decide to sit back and ignore that divine path set apart especially for you? Who are you to say no to the almighty God? Who are you? And you might be saying, Paula I’m not saying no to God. But you are. You really are.

We are Christians.

Which means we are called to be part of God’s large scale extravagant plan to bring the whole world to Him. To bring the whole population, to know Him, to want Him, just as we do.

That’s my mission.

That’s our mission.

That should be your mission.

Are you using your talent in the house of God?

 

 

Peace&Love

Paula ox’

 

Tye Tribbett – What Can I Do

Currently, Tye Tribbett is one of my favourite artists on this planet. I feel like I’m one of the last people to actually know about him, which is really strange because he’s actually been in the music industry for nearly 10 years and I’m literally just acknowledging him. Crazy. I’ve heard about him, obviously, but I never really thought about checking out his music and learning more about him, like I did with Lecrae and Deitrick Haddon. But you know what they say, better late than never, right?
Tye Tribbett is an American Gospel artist. He’s well known for his award winning band/ choir – Tye Tribbett & G.A (short for Greater Anointing), as well as touring with Faith Hill in the early 2000s, and working with well-respected people like Will Smith, Justin Timberlake, Usher, Sting and many more. Tye was nominated for three awards at the 2014 Grammy awards and won two out of those three; Best Gospel Album with Greater Than [Live] and Best Gospel Song with If He Did It Before… Same God [Live]. That’s pretty awesome and played quite well as a 38th birthday present for himself. Well done Tye!
I literally love his voice. I am such a fan of big gutsy, heart-felt vocals, and that’s all him and more. This song ‘What Can I Do, is basically always on repeat on my phone. The song is just inspirational. The song basically describes how I feel, like every day of my life. I literally feel like I can’t do it by myself; I need God. I need faith and strength and grace and favour. Tell me, what can I do, because I can’t live without Him. I can’t live without You.
I hope you listen to this song and feel as inspired and refreshed as I first did and always do when I listen to this song. It comes from Tye’s Grammy-winning album that dropped at the end of last year – Greater Than (2013).

If you like Tye, you’ll love Deitrick Haddon and Lecrae.

Peace&Love.

Paula ox’

Birthweek Lookbook

So, my birthday was on the 20th of December and I decided to do a Birthweek Lookbook.

Let me explain further, a Birthweek Lookbook is when I display the outfits I wore the week of my birthday –  Monday 16th December 2013 – Sunday 22nd December 2013. No, I don’t think I’m a model or a fashion guru, I just thought it would be a fun little thing to do. Hopefully, this will interest some of you. I do realise how late this is but consider the fact that I took a break for Christmas (and I had no WiFi, but that’s a story for another day). Also on that note, I hope you had a great festive period.

Because I had decided that I was going to do this, I made sure to dress a bit more fashionably than before. Most of these outfits are so ‘dressy’ shall we say, for normal days especially considering I was in college most of the time. Never mind that, most people at my college are used to seeing me overdress because I literally live to overdress.

Monday 16th

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On Monday I wore a gold Mesh-sleeved top which I bought from Fashion union (brand: Headgirl), which I paired with a simple black pencil skirt, (also purchased from the online store Fashion Union, I love them) and black flats. My only accessory was an exotic black necklace (that was a personal gift and I have no idea where it was bought from. Sorry.)

Tuesday 17th

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After my super dressy Monday, I decided to dress down for Tuesday and settled with a pink ‘New York’ printed tee, which is from New Look. With this I wore a pair of comfy black leggings and my Pink Timberlands (which I literally wear all-of-the-time). I’m not sure, but I think pink Timberlands can only be purchased directly from the host company Timberland as they are customized, and tend to be rather expensive. (Another personal gift, which is why I’m not sure) However, I’ve had mine for years; they are great quality so definitely a great purchase.

Wednesday 18th

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Wednesday was freezing; hence my outfit that makes me look like a fluffy penguin. I went with a stripy hat (Have I mentioned how much I am loving hats and beanies nowadays?) paired with my Dad’s long winter scarf. I tied the ends of the scarf together and used it as a snood (tip!). My top is a striped long jumper, in the same colours as my hat and scarf (all matchy!), which was bought from New Look. On top of that, I wore an over-sized fluffy jumper – from Primark – which is literally the warmest thing ever made. I finished this look with black leggings and dark blue pumps. For some reason, I also choose to accessorize with a white bangle, although it was totally unnecessary.

Thursday 17th

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Thursday consisted of the same fluffy jumper as the day before however, this time it was paired with a much more ‘girly’ outfit. I sported a white and black skater skirt (brand: Premier der toi) with a tucked in black t-shirt, finished with simple black ballet flats. I accessorized a helluva lot on Thursday; a feathered necklace purchased from New Look, a black skinny belt and a black and white bangles. I had a lot of fun with this look.

Friday 20th (The big day)

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Finally, it was the big day. I did try to dress down a bit that day, however, I’m not really sure if you will agree with me.

I wore a pair of grey jeans (brand: heaven sent), black boots, purple and white striped tee that I got from Primark like 4 years ago (I’m not sure how I still fit in it) and a purple and pink plaid shirt unbottoned on top. I finished this look with a blue ‘New York’ beanie that I have been wearing all of the time. I had a pretty chill day.

Saturday 21st

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When I first got the idea to do this, I planned on doing it from Monday to Friday, but on Saturday I decided to extend it to Sunday. On Saturday, I wore my pink Tims again (I told you I love them) with dark blue jeans. My top is from M&S and its one of the only things I own from that shop because I used to believe there clothes are for matured women. They did a teenagers and youth line last year and I bought that top, which I love so much. Lastly, I wore my blue ‘New York’ beanie again, mainly because I couldn’t be bothered to style my hair. Sorry.

Sunday 22nd

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Last but not least, Sunday the 22nd of December. I actually had a reason to dress up for this day because I went to church. I wore a burgundy peplum bodycon dress which was bought from Fashion Union. I wore with black tights (it was like 2 degress outside) and navy blue heels. I accessorized with a white bangle, a black statement necklace and a gold watch. You can see a flower in my hair too, but I totally just added that for the picture lol.

There we go, my week in outfits. I had so much fun doing this. I really do hope this interests or entertains some of you. Lastly, I must thank my sister for playing photographer the whole week. Trust me when I say, I am so picky about these kinds of things. We took so many pictures just for me to decide on about 2 or 3 (due to lighting, awkward posing, the usual).

Peace&Love.

Paula ox’

Who do you think influences you more – your family or your friends?

So, I’d like to discuss the idea that nowadays friends and peers influence teenagers more than their families do. Is that true? And if so, why is that? I mean, surely the people who birthed you, looked after you and everything in that nature should be the people you look up to the most. I asked lots of different the same question and here are a few of their answers and interpretation as to who influences them.

Who influences you the most, your friends or family, and why?

  •  I’d say friends because I tend to avoid my family. That’s because they annoy a lot and it’s a lot easier to leave my friends when they get on my nerves.  – Male, 16
  • I would like to say both but honestly, it’s my family. I think it’s the fact that you’re always around your family as you grow up so you learn things from siblings and learn to obey your parents. – Female, 16
  • Friends influence me more in the sense that we are in the same age group and so we can relate to each other. We keep each other updated with the latest hot topics, gossip and trends. – Female, 25
  • Well, I’d say friends, probably because your friends understand how you feel on a mutual level, whereas family may only see things from their point of view, a majority of the time. In this way, you could also relate to a friend’s choices which would make me feel like I am more influenced by friends as to making choices, than family. – Female, 16
  • I say friends because you choose to spend more time with your friends than family. – Male, 16
  • Personally, it would be family but not necessarily my parents because they’re boring and don’t fully understand my generation. I would say, however, that I am influenced by my older siblings especially my older brother is who I really look up to and I would say is the  biggest influence in my life. – Male, 16
  • I think both the groups of people are equally influential in a young person’s life because regardless of how much time someone spends at home with their family, their peers and friends outside of the home are people they can relate to the most. So friends are likely to influence them a lot, as well. – Female, 16
  • I am going to say family influence me the most because family members are always around to push you to do what they want you to do, or what they think is best for you.- Male, 17
  • I would say that friends influence me more, although it may not seem like it, we really do spend a lot of time with our friends. A large majority of our colloquial terms have been adopted from our friends & peers and sometimes even personality traits. By this I mean, the way we act, our use of register, and how we address people, whether this may be formal and informally. Moreover, we care considerably more about the opinions of our friends than we care our parents. If our mum or dad suggested we saw a movie we wouldn’t necessarily be persuaded into going to watch that movie, until perhaps a friend mentions it. In a way, we are sort of driven by the social desirability presented to us by our friends. – Female, 17
  • Friends influence young people more at this stage of their lives than their family. They tend to value the opinion of other young people (not only just friends) above that of their family members. – Female, over 25
  • I would say both family and friends influence me in different ways. Family because they initially set up whom I am as a person. There are certain immoral things that I could never do because my mum and dad have brought me up that way. Your culture also plays a part; certain decisions I make will be influenced by where I am from and my culture and heritage. On the other hand, friends influence me on the day-to-day things, as I tend to see them regularly. Sometimes the influence I get from my friends clashes with that of my family. – Female, 16
  • I would say both groups influence young people. There is a wide diversity of types of young people, some who are more influenced by friends and some influenced by family, depending on the individual. Some listen to their family more as they are close to them and can gain guidance from them. Others prefer to speak to their friends about personal issues they may not feel comfortable discussing with parents, e.g. relationships or social lives. They may however confide in their siblings, depending on how close they are to them. – Male, over 25

After receiving all these different views I was confused as to what I thought the answer of this question is. I think young people are like sponges, especially at adolescence; they absorb information, behaviour and ideology from the things and people they see and hear around them. If you are always at home with your family, you’ll be more influenced by your family, of course. But also, you’ll be influenced largely by the media and internet. If you’re at home all of the time, as well as spending time with your family, you’re also watching TV, browsing the internet or reading books, thereby becoming aware of lots of new things. The new things you learn may influence the way you think, reason and perceive things and people in life. Likewise, if you’re never at home, love hanging out with your friends, and are the life of the party, you’ll obviously be influenced by your friends more. Therefore, my verdict is that it depends on the individual. You may initially have been mainly influenced by your family, as a child, but as you grew up and grew in independence, so did the places you searched for influence.

This is my interpretation. Comment bellow with yours.